The Day I didn't Shave for my PhD Interview

That describes today. What a crazy and wonderful school year thus far. Three jobs (part-time), 14 hours of graduate family nurse practitioner classes, 3 roommates, a wonderful community, friends across the country/world, etc. make up what my 26th year looks like. Overwhelmed and high on life are understatements, but grateful and humbled highlight the underlying biofeed of my heart and mind.

Perhaps the above paragraph makes up this year in its entirety, a jumbled emotional mess with a beautiful story unfolding. For the past 2  6+ months I have been feeling super sorry for myself about singleness. I spin my wheels all the time and work on why it seems as though everyone else but me has found this supposed love (the one we dream about from around age 3 until we finally meet the "one"). In the midst of my pity party (which many gracious friends have put up with), I have begun to grapple with a glimpse of the fact that God is working, just not always in the areas that I desire change. I want to be careful to note that I don't believe God's favor has been present because of some act I performed (ha-I am lacking 100%) but rather for some reason his unfathomable grace and love.

Tonight at Nashville's Medical Christian Fellowship, I was surrounded by beautiful nursing students (among like 40 other medical people) that remind me of the gift of giving healthcare as an overflow of His grace and love. Last week I witnessed multiple Christ-following communities gathering to throw a wedding for a couple we had never met. (It was awesome!) Over the past weekend I spent time enjoying the Nashville area with my family.

So, though by perhaps my own standard, the "Southern" standard, or the world's standard I may be lacking, but in Christ I see completeness. I see Hope. I see the Gospel. I see true love. May that be enough. May I have faith to believe that it is enough.

Vanderbilt + Lately

My last few months have been deeply contemplative. Coming out of a professional work environment back into academia with people from all over the country/world has lent itself to 1.2 billion opinions and philosophies.

One might suggest that I struggle the most with my beliefs (I am pro-life, against euthanasia, and I believe the context of marriage from God is only between a man and a woman) among this liberal environment, which is true. However, my greatest struggle is found in the "rat race" and land of privilege I find myself in.

Recently, my pastor at Trinity Church Nashville has been preaching out of Isaiah. Many times we have discussed idolatry and often he has pushed us to consider idols in the world and most specifically in our lives. Mine: comfort. This little thing that I have worked SO hard for-from relationships, materialism, even what I do everyday has manifested itself in deep and ugly places. I came back to school to truly help people in their time of need and develop skills to take across the world to people who have no healthcare. However, when coming to this place and working hard, I also knew the implications of my salary, the people I would get to know, the circles I could "run in", etc. 

My pursuits here at Vanderbilt aren't wrong. However, I have been looking so intently at what I get or what I can do. The Lord is gently calling "it is not about you or your comfort." What a refreshing load off my shoulders. No matter how great (or really bad) my grades are, no matter how few or many times I get asked out (or truly what a desert of relationships I live in), or where I have practicum placement, I was not brought to the world for my comfort. Thank God for grace and mercy, for that is all we are promised. 

May my heart learn this and follow that total surrender and direction from Him are life, not a new red Volvo, tall husband, six figure salary with vacations to Tahiti. Not in gaining a PhD or becoming a professor. Not in (hopefully) adopting 6 kids and looking like an A+ mom. In in God and His sanctification. May I become "un-Vanderbilted" and open to where God leads...comfortable or not.

10 Reasons I am loving Nashville

Adjusting to life here in Music City has certainly contained a few (ahem) challenges. Imagine at least 400 people gathering in the world's nicest nursing building for a whole week. Yep-that was last week. It was rather obvious who the "experienced" grad students were versus the little things (my class) running around in lab coats with dark navy scrubs on.

No matter the interesting days-I acknowledge that life is a blessing. Last week was a constant reminder that life goes on, change is necessary, and I still love biochem and the simple act of caring for people. Yep. Life is good.

Why I love Nashville:

(1) I have rocking, awesome roommates who point me to Jesus. Last week (we carpool-so fun in elementary school that we brought it back-ha.) we had the most deep conversations on truth and our need for Jesus in the world.

(2)  The eclectic mix of traditional South meets Indie Rock/Country/super smart. Seriously. I have met more "musicians" and Southern Belles alongside BioChem PhD's that one would ever dream. Love it.

(3) Downtown is just cool. Not always my scene but a pedestrian bridge always wins in my book. I don't really hang-out there often but I love the international food availability at the Farmers Market. The Indian restaurant is awesome there.

(4) Jesus is here. I have seen some many crazy things and had so many faith based conversations. He is here. (I best be attentive)

(5) Trader Joes. Enough said. They have Pinon coffee...again-PINON COFFEE. Amazing. Also add Belle Chevre (goat cheese-ahem) with honey, $.69 red bell peppers, awesome almond butter...and AMAZING prices. Sold. (Grad school budget's dream)

(6) It is not far from the fam. Pretty great (in my opinion) that I am 5 hours from most all of them.

(7) Old friends. So many friends from life are here in Nashville with me. I have enjoyed breaking bread with many of them. Looking forward to meeting up with a few more soon!

(8) Diversity. At a church I am visiting-they emphasize ministry among the international refugees. Daily I am in class with people from all walks of life. One of my classmates last week shared her story of life from the north African continent. She is here to help her country. Wow.

(9) Vanderbilt has been ranked the #1 hospital in the state. Enough said.

(10) Traffic does not exactly get crazy around here. It isn't always a walk in the park but thank goodness I don't commute an hour each way!

Dreams (Real and those we think up....)

Nursing school has been...ahem...great! Keep in mind-this is only orientation. Ha.

So far I have signed like 2 million pages that state I will never, ever murder, cheat, lie, or paraphrase improperly. Additionally, I have sworn to complete some kind of planner before registering for classes and never take more than 30 pages of printed material from the biomed library...whew!

Lots of paperwork for sure. What am I not telling...oh yes, the good stuff! First, I feel incredibly privileged and blessed (and maybe poor) as I have launched into this grad school journey. Between my roommates, home, and getting ready to take great care of patients...I also have the privilege of getting to know ~150 fellow grad students and ~50 faculty/staff at Vandy. What a cool opportunity!

During this week I have experienced the most alarming dreams ever. Last night was a regurgitation of many thoughts involving so much adjustment and frank weirdness. In one dream, my roommate and I were ready for school and the other roommate was still sleeping. The roommate who was awake ran around apologizing to me-ha. (We are all very timely however). During the previous night I dreamed I had to deliver terrible news (someone had died) but I couldn't find the person I had to tell. Maybe I am over thinking like 12 million things.

Note fun photo below-our photo op with lab jackets in the "Charlies Angels" pose.

New Home + New School --> New Adventure

                                          Photo is courtesy of my roommate-Lucy


Considering I blog like yearly at this point, I shall need to explain my new home, new school, new adventure I suppose. Rewind to previous blog post, where I decide that going back to school would be helpful. Ahem...add full time job, life, and part-time night school + grad school apps. Whew. A special time but a crazy time. Certainly there were many mornings I was up at 4 AM from needing to get stuff done before work-but now it is ALL worth it!

Around March 15th I was notified of my acceptance into Vanderbilt University's accelerated Family Nurse Practitioner program. God alone. Seriously- GRE stunk, application was put together with new GRE in less than one month, and whew. Anyway-I am so, so grateful for this opportunity. People keep asking me what the goal is...and I have about 2 million different ideas. Most of all, I am sent here to love people, treat them, and ultimately show them Jesus (in the little things and many other aspects). Currently, I see myself in developmental pediatrics, HIV/AIDS, and most likely in another country, loving people, taking care of them, working on sustainable development.

So, during the acceptance/pre-start phase two roommates were provided (again-a God moment) and we all now live in a great little place near school. I am living the true student life (thanks Mom and Dad for the groceries) and get excited after 30 minutes of reading my new textbooks. Again, thanks to Lucy my roommate for the pics!

New Adventures

Wow.

2 years of no blog; however, the number "2" has been super true in my life. After all of my adventures in Kentucky & Dallas, I have lived in both Virginia and for now, Tennessee. (2 cities)

I have had 2 jobs as a registered dietitian, a profession that I do enjoy-but I am looking forward to expanding my fields of expertise.

My next adventure takes me back to the classroom-specifically the classroom of Anatomy & Physiology. As a clinician in a smaller medical center, I love, love, love clinical medical practice. It is so very addicting; I just keep learning that I desire to ahem...to expand my role in healthcare. By taking A&P, I will be opening my options to applying to various master's of nursing programs (critical care nurse practitioner) or physicians assistant programs. I keep learning that this is not unusual in the registered dietitian role. However, it remains a mystery as to where or what I will end up doing.

As I have often reminisced recently, these past 12 months have not been the journey that I would have necessarily mapped out or expected. My heart has been very full & so empty at times. I have been so well loved by many women in my life & my sweet family. I have learned what relationships really mean, where Christ places us, and how important our role in Him is. I have most importantly learned what idols I have held.

So, life is changing alot right now. I think maybe I had decided that it was time to attempt to settle down-but this is just not it right now (thank you Lord). More to come...

Farmers Market Adventures & Metropolis Ramblings

Happy Sunday everyone!

As many of you may know, I love farmers markets. I pretty much think they are the most economical, wonderful way to get amazing produce. Some people shop them for reduced "carbon footprint" and others shop them in order to get local stuff. I agree with both-but I love the thrill of the hunt. Yesterday the roomie and I headed downtown (a most confusing area) to reap the benefits of the Dallas Farmers Market (dallasfarmersmarket.org). I have researched this place since I knew that I was coming to this wonderful southwestern metropolis.

Anyway, what did I find?? Wonderful amounts of tomatoes, peppers, all types of lettuce, fresh meat, and amazing fruits. I pretty much could have squealed over all the beautiful colors...and the prices! Due to the fact that I have been to the grocery store ALOT since moving, I didn't really need much, but I settled for berries, asparagus, and herb plants.

Needless to say this was quite a nutty nutrition gal sort of adventure. Anyway, I am starting my dietetic internship tomorrow. Though it will be strange to enter the "real world", I am so grateful that I am almost a registered dietitian. My whole move and the doors that open here are only God's grace. For that I am grateful.